Supportive conversations
Talking about self-harm will likely be difficult for you and the young person. These phrases can help you to have a supportive conversation
To understand and support a young person who is self-harming, it is important to show that you want to understand their perspective and reasons for doing it, and to find out what help they would like. Create a safe space for them to have an open and honest conversation.
To encourage them to share, you may say:
- I know it took a lot of courage to talk to me about it.
- You are really brave to share this with me, thank you for trusting me.
- You are not alone and I will help you to get support.
- I am here to listen whenever you are ready to share.
- Would you like to tell me more about that?
To show them that you are listening and understand their feelings, you can say:
- Can you help me to understand how you have been feeling?
- Can I check that I’ve understood you correctly… (share what you understand about what the young person has told you).
- I imagine that felt (scary, lonely, upsetting), would that be right?
- You said you felt [reflect their words] when that happened. I can understand why it would make you feel that way.
Be clear and direct in your communication
If you notice or suspect that a young person is self-harming, approach them and ask them directly about it. Vague or unclear language can make it more difficult for the young person to open up about their experiences.
If you notice or suspect that a young person is self-harming, approach them and ask them directly about it. Vague or unclear language can make it more difficult for the young person to open up about their experiences.
"I think the approach teachers should take, especially if they're reaching out first, is like, 'I'm here to help. Take your time. You don't need to tell me; just tell me when you can and you can come to me.' No pressure, no pushing; just let the student do it as they can."
Source:
(Young person, SORTS focus group)
