Initial response
Once you have made sure that the young person is safe and their injuries have been attended to, listen to what they have to say and try to understand the situation from their point of view.
To make your initial response to self-harm effective, you can:
- Thank them for telling and trusting you.
- Reassure them that they are safe and that you take their feelings seriously.
- Withhold judgement: let them know you do not judge or disapprove of their behaviour.
- Listen carefully, and reflect back to them how you have understood what they are feeling.
- Pause before responding immediately. Give the young person time to express themselves.
- Give options: ask the young person where and who they would like to talk to.
- Acknowledge that the young person is distressed and express acceptance of their feelings.
- Tell them about the resources and support available in and out of the school.
- Help the student feel that they deserve help and support.
- Encourage them to keep seeking help and opening up to adults.
Phrases to help you respond effectively
- You are really brave to share this with me, thank you for trusting me.
- These are really difficult experiences. You are not alone and I will help you to get support.
- Would you like to tell me more about that?
- I imagine that felt (scary, lonely, upsetting), would that be right?
- Help me understand how you have been feeling?
Assessing medical need
If a young person has recently self-harmed, it is essential that you first assess their injuries and decide whether they require immediate medical attention.
Whilst assessing the situation, it is important to stay calm. This will help the young person to feel safe and secure. It may help to take the student somewhere private or to a place of their choice such as the school medical room or a private office.
If the young person has wounds that need medical attention, then arrange for them to see the school nurse or another medical professional. If they are bleeding heavily or have taken an overdose, seek medical attention immediately and follow your school’s first aid policy and instructions.
If the young person discloses that they were or are thinking of trying to take their own life, make sure they get immediate help and do not leave them unattended.
Informing colleagues
In line with your school’s safeguarding and mental health policy, inform the headperson e.g. mental health/safeguarding lead, school counsellor and/or school nurse about the student’s self-harming behaviour. Follow your school’s procedure and ensure that the student is fully supported.
Their safety is your priority.
Involving parents and carers
Whenever possible, staff should respect the student’s wishes for confidentiality. In some situations, it will be necessary to break confidentiality, even if it is against the student’s wishes.
In most cases, the student’s parents or carers would be informed about their self-harming, unless there is a concern that sharing this information could lead to greater harm (e.g. if there is possible neglect or abuse at home). Breaking confidentiality is something that will need to be discussed with your safeguarding/wellbeing/mental health lead. Remember:
- Do not promise a student that you will keep something confidential. It is unlikely that you will be able to keep that promise.
- Explain that someone may have to speak with their parent and explain why. Remind them that you have a duty of care to ensure that they are safe and to make the people around them aware.
- How parents are told: try to offer choice in how their parents are told. For example, the student may or may not want to be present. It is important to respect their wishes where this is possible and where safeguarding allows.
- Ask the student how they feel about it and listen carefully to any concerns they are expressing.
- Inform the student that you will need to speak with another member of staff (safeguarding/wellbeing lead) to inform them of your concerns.
- A final decision about informing parents has to be made in line with the school’s safeguarding policy.
If a group of pupils are self-harming
If more than one student has self-harmed, it is important not to panic, but to be observant and raise awareness of how students can get help when they are struggling with difficult emotions.
- Continue to provide support and follow your school’s safeguarding and mental health policy.
- Involve multiple staff members, so that one person is not dealing with the whole group themselves.
- It’s better to address the issue with each young person individually rather than discussing it in large school groups such as school assemblies.
