Impacts of self-harm
Discovering that a student is self-harming can impact staff’s own wellbeing in and outside of work.
Staff members may experience a range of feelings and emotions for the affected student, including shock, anger, disgust, helplessness, sadness and sympathy.
If you are affected by a student’s self-harm:
- Discuss your situation with a colleague
- Be as honest as you can about your feelings
- Speak to your school’s designated person responsible for mental health and wellbeing within the school
- Plan to speak to the student again a few days after your first conversation
- If you don’t feel able to support a student who self-harms, ask someone else to address it
Impact on staff
Having a student who self-harms can be very distressing for school staff. Some staff may find it difficult to empathise with a student who self-harms because it is self-inflicted behaviour; they may feel scared and angry with them for what they have done.
Some staff members may have had their own difficult experiences with self-harm or care for someone who does, and may not feel able to manage or offer support to a student who self-harms.
It is important to acknowledge that staff might be going through their own personal issues and not feel able to deal with self-harm. This should be considered and discussed within schools, alongside highlighting designated staff members who are always present to support young people with mental health difficulties, including self-harm.
Impact on peers
For young people, knowing someone who self-harms can be distressing. They can struggle to understand why someone would do it, and may also feel upset or repulsed by the visible signs of self-harm.
Peers often feel torn between wanting to keep their friend’s behaviour a secret and feeling they should tell an adult who could help. If they decide not to speak to anyone, they may feel like it is their job to support their friend who self-harms, and to ensure their safety. This can be very overwhelming and distressing for the young supporter, and they may find it hard to cope with their feelings and emotions.
Impact on families
Some research has shown that young people who self-harm often turn to their family or friends for support, especially right after an act of self-harm. This in itself may cause distress to the family and those around the young person.
Family and friends don’t always have the knowledge or skills to support young people. Schools can help by providing resources and guidance to families and create a supportive network around the young person.
Children and young people’s mental health difficulties will always put a strain on the whole family. If a young person’s difficulties are prolonged or severe, other family members may also start to experience mental health problems. Parents/carers may have different views about the source of their child’s difficulties and how to resolve them.
Siblings may be strongly affected by their brother or sister’s self-harm and may also need professional support. As parents shift their focus on the child that is self-harming, then siblings may feel neglected and forgotten.
Witnessing self-harm elicits strong emotions in most people. It’s important to acknowledge this and try to offer compassion to yourself and others.
